“Bimbo! Bimbo!!! Bumbo!!! Omo yii a shi jen siso sha! (This girl will make me say rubbish). Bimbo!!! O n kami lohun, abi? (You’re counting the number of times I’ll call you, abi?) I’ll beat you to death today!”

Bimbo did not hear. She couldn’t have. Bimbo was not exactly sleeping. She was dead! The dead don’t hear noises, do they? Bimbo committed suicide.

“Haaa! Bimbo pami! (Bimbo has killed me). Bimbo, please don’t do this! Bimbo please, answer me!”

Eezkiss me, madam, isn’t that ironical? Didn’t you just threaten to beat her to death? Bimbo muse ya niyen! (Bimbo sped up the process niyen?) I thought you thought she was making you call her names in vain? Guess who’s laughing now?! She’s dead, mhen!!!

“Doctor, omo yii o gbodo ku o! Haaa! Bimbo o gbodo ku o! Omo yii o gbodo lo bayii!!!”

“Okay, okay. Calm down, woman. Bimbo probably missed the seventh day of rest, but she didn’t miss the 6th. So she probably is trying to rest her own rest. She will wake up.”

That was definitely not the doctor. He couldn’t have been that cheesy, could he? I mean, who cracks such a joke in such a life and death threatening situation?

I do! I mean, me. Yes, me. Emi (I. Abi issit ‘me’ ni?) I saw Bimbo shake the bottle, open it and down the snipper like Bigi Apple. I saw as life gently ebbed out of Bimbo as she gasps for the very air she just threw away by her own hands. I saw more though.

I saw her when those hot tears flowed like a river out of her eyes but no one provided a bucket. I saw Bimbo as she dug deep and deep into the abyss of her soul but no one shone a touch. I mean, wasn’t it I who walked with Bimbo as the Sun raped her scalp and the light penetrated her skin and she became an albino virgin – no melanin.


So I think I have the right to be sarcastic. I’ve seen it all.

Good news, Bimbo did not eventually go though. Bimbo is back – not for anyone but brought back by the holy one. I’m still here, with her, seeing all but saying nothing. Bimbo did not die. At least, not for long. Just like I told her, allow me to reiterate:

I’m like a shadow. Oh no, sorry, I am actually a shadow. Behold, I’m with you – even to the end of your days (the almosts count too).

Now, lift up your holy hands, Rubygold. Cum into his presence, let’s warship.