THE DYNAMICS OF HELPING PEOPLE

I wish to quickly talk about helping people.

There are three categories of people you can’t help.

1. Those who don’t know they have a problem.
2. Those who know they have a problem but don’t think they need help.
3. Those who believe you are part of the problem.

For each of these categories, there’s a distinct peculiarity.

Category 1 – they aren’t always innocent of this predicament. Whatever nature of problem, people probably have pointed their attention to it, but they don’t see it as a problem. So, no discussion.

Category 2 – Whether by being intrinsic (looking inward) or from external voices, they know they have a problem. However, they strongly believe they can solve it without anyone’s help. So still, little or no discussion.

Category 3 – These are the most difficult people to help. You not only come to them as fake, but you are everything they believe to be wrong with them.

Interestingly, they know they have a problem and know they need help, they don’t just want it from you.

How do you address these categories of people?

1. Know you can’t help everybody. Not directly, at least.

2. Know the border line.
You will try to help some of these people because you will probably identify their problems and really do care. But once you notice you aren’t welcomed or you’re not getting through, that’s the line, please don’t cross it.

Meanwhile, note, the goal is not to be persistent. It is to be effective. Spending much time on something or someone doesn’t equate to being effective. True, it is a factor. However, if you are persistent on an unsuccessful venture, you’ll only reach shades of failure.

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So, be time controlled. Give yourself a time frame to help. After its expiration, reevaluate your influence. Is it worth moving on on?

3. Cross it, but be ready.
I am not a naysayer nor a pessimist; I actually believe in the good of people. However, I’m an optimistic realist.😁

I sometimes cross these border lines. But when I cross them, I’m prepared for any reaction – whatever it is. By that, I’m not exactly hurt. I’m just sorry.

4. Now this can be controversial. Let them know you are helping them.

They don’t necessarily have to like it or encourage it. They sometimes will fight against – especially when it is obvious you need to be helped too or that you haven’t really measured up to be able to actually render the help.

However, letting them know what you are up to is a defense mechanism for you. It puts you in an honest position right from the beginning. You might need that cushion later.

Ultimately, you must realize helping people is not automatic. There are some kinda mechanics that work round it, but they are mostly emotional. That is, the movements you make in the process of helping other people are going to be mostly based on your emotions and time. You gotta be conscious of those.

Bonus thought.

When you say “I’m here” to someone, don’t just be there when they are in physical pain or when they are having a good time. Be “actually there” when they are stupid too.😜
Stupidity is a high level of innocent pain. It’s so subtle like a silent fart but the smell is like Hiroshima.

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Ire o!