You know why I don’t always like to leave messages for people offline to meet when they come online?!
In fact, for example, when I know my girlfriend is not online for a reason I previously knew or could easily deduce, I don’t leave messages around (unless I just want to be cheesy, telling her how much I love her and stuff – something random).
Why? Because I know that if I leave serious messages for her to come back to, perhaps messages that looked like it needed urgent attention, it makes her feel bad, like she wasn’t there when I needed her.
I intentionally help her to avoid that. Why?
Because people find it easy to blame themselves, with the false impression of taking responsibility. In their quest to take charge, they end of playing a mind game of “It’s my fault”. They are two different things, in case you don’t know.
We must realize that, taking responsibility is not the same thing as taking blame; it’s not the same as blaming oneself.
Taking responsibility requires an understanding of the process and outcome. It mostly comes as an obligation something you are responsible for taking care of. Which means, an understanding of the knowledge that it happened DESPITE you, yet you can do something about.
On the other hand, taking the blame is a simple task of accepting something is your fault (even if and when you knew nothing about the process nor outcome). Which means, you taking in the fact that it happened BECAUSE of you. This, therefore, creates an imbalanced sense of obligation.
That’s a whole lot of difference. It’s not just semantics, if you catch my drift. It’s a whole mental framework of how you process things and this determines how quickly you get back up when things go awry (as they sometimes will).
When coaches accept responsibility for matches they lost, it is not as taking blames. They weren’t on the field, after all. Yes, they picked the team, set the tactics and all but they know everything is about the legs, skills, teamwork and a little bit of Lady Luck on the field of play.
That’s what leaders do; take responsibilities without taking blames. Taking blames don’t make you heroes, no. It’s not that hard to do. Yet, you and I know leaders don’t do things the easy way. Or at least, the common way.
You, also, can do that – take responsibility without blaming yourself. It’s not about a blame game. You probably don’t blame others but blaming yourself always come easy and quick to you, thinking that is you taking responsibility. There’s a difference, baby.😉
Know that and know peace.
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