ANCHORS AND DEADWEIGHTS
A man posted a video, making some claims. I’ll transcribe it below and share my thoughts on the content of the video afterwards.
“Stop telling people your problem. 70% of people cannot help you. 25% of people are happy that you are in trouble. Only 5% of people are in a position to help you. May you be led to the people who have the ability and capacity to help you. You’ll be fine”
End of video.
Here’s what I think…
The biggest challenge you might have when it comes to problems and solutions is not in how people react to your problems when you tell them. It is you knowing who is who and what they bring to the table before you tell them your problems.
There are three responses you would normally expect from people in such situations.
1. Listen. Don’t provide solutions.
2. Listen and then provide solutions.
3. Listen, provide solutions and then be the solution.
Everyone in your circle falls under one or more of these categories at different times. It is your responsibility to know who to approach when you hit rock bottom, depending on what you need.
There’s another angle, though.
Some people in category one cannot help you, yeah. But ironically, they could be the ones who would hold your hand and give you listening ears till you meet either category two or three.
These people don’t have the solutions, yeah. But sometimes, talking to them shows you the solutions. While you recount your problems, you could probably just see the solution by yourself, unaided. You just needed to listen to yourself.
In another twist, take for instance, accident victims.
Sometimes, the first people on the scenes are not medical practitioners. They are people who are on the same road as you with there own problems but privileged to not be victims at that moment.
They could still be, or once were – or worse, still carrying the scars of their own accidents; some may have healed, some have not. Just random people who are able to keep you talking and encouraging you to hold on to life, keep hope up till medical practitioners come.
So you see, out of the 70% of people you fear talking to might be the ones you need to hold on till the 5% comes. If you don’t have them, you might not live to see the solutions the 5% would give.
There are some people in your lives who serve as anchors. They don’t push you forward, agreed, but they hold you still to prevent you drowning. They keep you floating till help comes. You would think they are irrelevant until you are sinking.
Yes, the 25% could be real. They do not have the solutions, and worse, they are glad you are in the mess. I concede there are people like that. However, it is your responsibility to weed them away.
Stop keeping around you people you must have seen telltale signs of envy or worse, hatred. Some of these people aren’t hard to notice but we are sometimes blinded by love, friendship, teamwork and the likes. If they need to go, regardless of who they are, let them go. They are dead weights, not anchors.
Second to finally, help comes in different ways. Always define help and restrict it where necessary.
Finally, remember that the 5% are only in a position to help you, it is not guaranteed.
You must realise this, and be careful to put your trust for help in those (and Him) who is guaranteed to help you.
Again, you see the place of YOU? Be intentional.
Happy Sunday.
©️ Deji Adeyemi
#anchorsanddeadweights
#thoughtinfluencer
