ANCHORS AND DEADWEIGHTS

A man posted a video, making some claims. I’ll transcribe it below and share my thoughts on the content of the video afterwards.

“Stop telling people your problem.  70% of people cannot help you. 25% of people are happy that you are in trouble. Only 5% of people are in a position to help you. May you be led to the people who have the ability and capacity to help you. You’ll be fine”

End of video.

Here’s what I think…

The biggest challenge you might have when it comes to problems and solutions is not in how people react to your problems when you tell them. It is you knowing who is who and what they bring to the table before you tell them your problems.

There are three responses you would normally expect from people in such situations.

1. Listen. Don’t provide solutions.

2. Listen and then provide solutions.

3. Listen, provide solutions and then be the solution.

Everyone in your circle falls under one or more of these categories at different times. It is your responsibility to know who to approach when you hit rock bottom, depending on what you need.

There’s another angle, though.

Some people in category one cannot help you, yeah. But ironically, they could be the ones who would hold your hand and give you listening ears till you meet either category two or three.

These people don’t have the solutions, yeah. But sometimes, talking to them shows you the solutions. While you recount your problems, you could probably just see the solution by yourself, unaided. You just needed to listen to yourself.

In another twist, take for instance, accident victims.

Sometimes, the first people on the scenes are not medical practitioners. They are people who are on the same road as you with there own problems but privileged to not be victims at that moment.

They could still be, or once were – or worse, still carrying the scars of their own accidents; some may have healed, some have not. Just random people who are able to keep you talking and encouraging you to hold on to life, keep hope up till medical practitioners come.

So you see,  out of the 70% of people you fear talking to might be the ones you need to hold on till the 5% comes. If you don’t have them, you might not live to see the solutions the 5% would give.

There are some people in your lives who serve as anchors. They don’t push you forward, agreed, but they hold you still to prevent you drowning. They keep you floating till help comes. You would think they are irrelevant until you are sinking.

Yes, the 25% could be real. They do not have the solutions, and worse, they are glad you are in the mess. I concede there are people like that. However, it is your responsibility to weed them away.

Stop keeping around you people you must have seen telltale signs of envy or worse, hatred. Some of these people aren’t hard to notice but we are sometimes blinded by love, friendship, teamwork and the likes. If they need to go, regardless of who they are, let them go. They are dead weights, not anchors.

Second to finally, help comes in different ways. Always define help and restrict it where necessary.

Finally, remember that the 5% are only in a position to help you, it is not guaranteed.

You must realise this, and be careful to put your trust for help in those (and Him) who is guaranteed to help you.

Again, you see the place of YOU? Be intentional.

Happy Sunday.

©️ Deji Adeyemi

#anchorsanddeadweights
#thoughtinfluencer

LIFE AS A PRINCIPLE OF CAUSE & EFFECT

There is this American guy who has come to church for the past three weeks in the same clothes – same shirt, same brown pants, same dark red trainers and believe it or not, same bow tie.

Today again, I marvelled at it. Same clothes every Sunday for the past three weeks and I ask myself, “Was it forced or a choice?”

In retrospection, I look back at the life I have lived thus far and a question frequently pops up as I try to make sense of the outcomes; “Was it forced or a choice?”

I ask myself, “Could I have done it differently? Would that have changed the outcome?”

Life is what it is – cause and effect.

Your very existence is premised by that reality. The sexual interaction that produced you as born was product of a passionate cause, and perhaps, a loving exchange and you are the effect.

Every of your daily interactions with friends, foes, and family is chiefly exemplified by the actions you have taken or not taken and the effect becomes another cause for another effect, and the chain goes on.

Hence, everything you do, forced or choiced is a slave to this reality, cause and effect. It may be your cause or not, may even be your effect or not, the presence of this reality stands tall above you.

Next question; “What would you do if you knew the future?”

The future is although, a system of reality that is yet to be seen, is still an array of information that could be accessible through deduction from the present.

How? By the same principle of life as revealed above – cause and effect. Simply put, what would become of you tomorrow can be deduced except by an ultimate cause.

Therefore, if you would ever love to have a piece of the future, you must activate that innate part of you that realises the reality of cause and effect.

But remember, God is the ultimate cause and eternity, is the ultimate effect.

It’s like watching highlights of a football match already played… You know the final score, but do not know the process leading there.

Your life right now, comprises the little causes and effects that form the process. The scoreline is not in doubt…

As you begin a new month, don’t forget to work, pray and watch. Chances are good, but the nature of chances is uncertainty. Leave little or nothing to chance. Welcome to November!

Happy New Month.

©️ Deji Adeyemi

A STENCH IN HIS GOLDEN NOSTRILS (Abimbola Duduyegbe)

See what she has turned out to be;
A stench in his golden nostrils
Her beauty and amazing personality;
Has become an eyesore to him

At first, his thoughts wandered around HER
The thoughts of HER love always fill his heart
He knew it was hard to do his biddings,
Nevertheless, his feelings won’t let him be.

Morning after morning, he grew lean
Day after day, he fell more sick
His heart longing for HER love
His body craving for HER touch

Read More