He will hold me fast.
Around 2016, I was domiciled in Osogbo and although I was going through a tough patch during the period with little hope of how things would pan out for me, I still was floating.
Luckily for me, my parents still sent me pocket money during the time and I tried as much to live on it. What this meant was that I didn’t exactly have a money problem or paying utilities and all (I lived in my dad’s house), but I had a purpose problem. I had a direction problem, the dilemma of moving forward. To what?! What’s next? How far?
In essence, I loafed around. I wasn’t getting a job, so I busied with writing and even organized a reading session and an essay competition. I would go to the library every day, read books and all, and repeat the some process the next day, every day. Although it gave me new friends, a certain level of influence but they weren’t really deep. Their potential to last long wasn’t there. It wasn’t showing a way forward.
However, I have always been one to live one step at a time, so I continued. And despite dark, lonely days where my woes mostly overwhelmed me and I shed hot tears on the toilet seat, I still held on and to be honest, I don’t know what exactly I held on to.
Today, singing a hymn in church reminded me of that phase of my life and it suddenly meant more to me. The chorus says, “He will hold me fast (2x). For my savior loves me so, He will hold me fast.”
I thought I was the one holding on during those times, but he was the one holding me fast. This doesn’t mean I didn’t cry nor felt lonely, nor didn’t go to bed hungry on many days neither does it mean it didn’t feel like my life wasn’t going to mean much nor that I wasn’t afraid I was gonna be a failure. I felt all these things at different times.
When I look back now, however, I realize through it all, he loves me so, he held me, fast. The small, great people I knew, the little influence I made, the here & there successes were his handiwork; he was holding me fast.
Bad things will happen in your life here and there. In fact, you will feel let down more than a couple of times, thinking; “I have to hold on. I am all I got.” But know this, he loved you even before you love him. He’s the one holding you, not the other way round. You can’t hold him unless he holds you first. You didn’t love him first, and neither can you really really hold yourself.
Imagine this for a second; “If it hadn’t been for him…”
Look at me now. I celebrated my 31st birthday last Thursday in a foreign country and to be fair to God, now, I realize He’s the one doing the holding – has always been. I am the man that has been helped, because He loves me and his holding me fast.
He will hold YOU fast.
PS: Be encouraged to listen to the song here on YouTube, ‘He Will Hold Me Fast’ by Keith & Kristy Getty.
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