BEING A PASTOR’S WIFE: 10 Key Realities (Episode II)


The second most key reality a pastor’s wife must quickly adjust to is to being financially independent, especially when your husband is a full-time pastor. His income, as it is, would not always be his alone. Note, the ministry’s money is not part of your husband’s income. What is of the Lord belongs to the Lord. It is for the work of God and the things of God.

Your husband’s money is his allowance or salary and if he has other business aside ministry work, all income from them is his own. Also, gifts from members of the church personally to him belongs to your husband. Unless you want to corrupt the grace of God in your lives, the ministry’s money is not yours!

Here is why you should work and not be indolent as a pastor’s wife. Truth is that your husband’s income may not be enough in some period. With what you have as salary and savings, you can be of help financially. Also, the pastor’s wife pays tithe, don’t they? This way, you will be contributing to the ministry financially and observing one of God’s oldest commandments.

There are bills to pay – school fees, rent, feeding, etc. If you are not financially independent, you could spoil your ministry by pestering your husband to take from the ministry’s money.

Interestingly, you could ask for money from your husband to meet a need and he will tell you he does not have it yet. It might even be school fees for the children. Then another church member comes to tell pastor about his inability to pay his school fees, or perhaps the church needs a new set of instruments, and he gave them, yet he told you there is no money for school fee for the children yet.

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Yes, I know it’s heartbreaking, but he is only trying to do what is right with the Lord’s money. It should be used for the work of God and things of God. A church member is part of the fold he is to take care of, and he will give account. He knows the dangers of spending it on you and his personal needs, which is why he said next week, next month or tomorrow when he would have gotten his salary. I hope you understand.


If you are a jealous person, you probably are not ready for your ministry. Your husband is not yours alone, but firstly, God’s shepherd. A pastor’s wife shares her husband with the church members. There are times ministry work will get his attention more than that of his family. Can you cope with that? So many ladies who are more beautiful than you, more fluent and better than than you will be around your husband, probably for counseling, for meeting, for prayers and all, you must not be jealous.

Instead, pray for him. Encourage him to share the burden and responsibility with him. Give him the peace needed to trust you. Let him see you are matured to bear the task of church counselling. Encourage him to trust your opinions. There are so many things you can do instead of being jealous. Do I see you doing them?

Finally, watch out for the last episode. But if you missed the first episode, read here.

Mary Lawal Esq.